Category: Sport (Page 13 of 24)

Done and dustsed

September 12, 2005 / rob

The Ashes are over, and in the euphoria of an England victory, I am going to do my personal awards. And then get drunk. 
 
Player of the series: Andrew Flintoff. 400+ runs, 24 brilliant wickets. Not just for the stats, but the manner and timing in which he came good after a shaky start. The best all-round cricketer in the world right now, he could be one of the greats. 
Runner up: Shane Warne. 40 wickets. 4th-best 5-match series haul of all time. Silly little beard, but a legend of a player. 
 
Surprise of the series: Simon Jones. Came of age as a bowler 
Runner up: Brett Lee. We thought he might be 12th man and a bit of a dick. He is actually a superb bloke, played with passion and humour, and the series was the better for it. 
 
Disappointment of the series: close this. Jason Gillespie got 3 wickets for 300 runs in 3 tests. That’s very very shit. Adam Gilchrist didn’t get one 50. And he averages 52 in test cricket, so he was a massive flop. But we knew Gillespie was rubbish from the one-day series, so Gilchrist gets the nod. Shame, as he is a good chap. 
 
Catch of the series: Andrew Strauss held that flier to his left to dismiss Gilchrist off Flintoff, and every time I see it I blink. Stunning. 
 
Ball of the series: Steve Harmison to dismiss Michael Clarke at Edgbaston. Slower delivery, swung and took the off-stump. The final ball of the 3rd day, it gave England belief, and was perhaps the moment when the Ashes first swung England’s way. 
 
Over of the series. Flintoff, at Edgbaston, bowling Langer and getting Ponting caught behind. He bowled with such venom it made the hairs stand up on your arm. 
 
Innings of the series: lots of candidates here, with Vaughn’s 166 and Pietersen’s 158 pretty special, plus 2 innings by Flintoff swung a couple of tests. But Ricky Ponting at Old Trafford, with a match saving 156, gets the nod. He saved the game, showed his team how to play, and kept Australia in the series. 
 
Test of the series: Edgbaston. Can’t find the words to sum that one up. Too much happened. 
 
Commentary of the series: Richie Benaud. A gem in his last series in England. As Shaun Tait wandered across his stumps and got bowled behind his legs by Harmison, Benaud remarked: “That’s, not, very, sensible…. even for a tail-ender.”

Getting overexcited

September 12, 2005 / rob

Five tests, one long summer, and it all comes down to one day’s play. Excited? So is <a href=”http://content-uk.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/20217.html”>Gladstone Small</a>. 
 
You might not remember Gladstone. He was a decent bowler who took the winning catch the last time England won the Ashes. So, this morning on the Today programme, he was interviewed by the ever enthusianstic Garry Richardson. 
 
“Who do you think will win?”, asked Garry. 
 
“My money is on England,” replied Gladstone, “but get your strap-on ready… err, strap yourself to your seats”. 
 
Privacy of your own home, and all that.

Pick and mix

September 8, 2005 / rob

The big difference between England Cricket and England Football right now is not just the obvious one of success (taking on and maybe beating Australia? <a href=”http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/internationals/4224742.stm”>Losing to Northern Ireland 1-0?</a>), it’s one of selection. 
 
Sven doesn’t know his best team, or how to play them. Beckham in a holding, central role? Rooney up front or out wide to accomodate Owen? Gerrard on the left? It’s all so confused. 
 
Cricket? The 11 pick themselves. The only dilemma has been whether to pick Collingwood or Anderson to replace the injured Simon Jones. Collingwood, you feel, got the nod for his all-round contribution and team-ethos. Anderson can get too down on himself, and in a clutch test, you need everyone to be on fire. 
 
So, as the Oval test starts, the overpaid footballers lose to a team ranked 110+ in the world, and the crickers take centre stage. They have the right team ethic, and win or lose, play aggressive, clever cricket. The footballers look spineless in comparison. 
 
Of course, once the Ashes are over, it will be a free run for football for months.

Vintage stuff (pun intended)

September 5, 2005 / rob

The US Open website usually throws up a few stupid things during their two week run. Most of the time it’s just basic facts, such as last year when they claimed Federer had won the French Open, and this year when they suggested that Justine Henin-Hardene and Mary Pierce faced each other at Wimbledon when it was the final of the French. (In fact, they clearly have an issue with the French, which is not a surprise for Americans.) 
 
But having pleasured themselves in the bedroom of inaccuracy, they are now chatting up pointlessness in the disco of boredom. In other words: they have <a href=”http://www.usopen.org/en_US/news/articles/2005-09-04/200509041125847580305.html”>published an article comparing tennis players to wine</a>. “Why?”, I hear you ask. Possibly to be as rude as they are allowed to be in this mostly arse-kissing forum. Here’s an example: 
 
“LEYTON HEWITT (Australia) — Very tannic and tart, a brash New World wine. An Aussie Shiraz made for the American market. Rather bitter aftertaste. Possibly corked.”

Having a good moan

August 31, 2005 / rob

Forget foul-mouthed footballers, Tennis and Cricket is where it’s all at. 
 
Cricket especially. No-one was under any illusions that the Aussies lead the world in sledging, swearing and over-confidence (5-0 to Australia, Mr McGrath?). But now they <a href=”http://content-uk.cricinfo.com/engvaus/content/story/217669.html”>lead the world in whinging</a> as well. 
 
In cricket, they deny us stump microphone, which is such a shame, although we could lip-read Ponting and Katich as they told the crowd and everyone else exactly what they thought. Who cares if there is swearing on daytime TV? In the tennis, no such problems. <a href=”http://news.ft.com/cms/s/10039b82-19b1-11da-804e-00000e2511c8.html”>In the Andy Murray – Andrei Pavel match</a> at the US Open, which was gripping stuff (<a href=”http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/tennis/4199444.stm”>vomit excluded</a>), Pavel went ballistic at the umpire. 
 
“Are you fucking stupid?” he started. Now now, careful Andrei. But no, he went on to use the word “fuck” or variants thereof a further 4 times. No warning from the umpire. 
 
But Andrei wanted more. “You are shit”, he commented at the change of ends after throwing away his serve. Code warning Pavel. But not content to leave it alone, Pavel got in one more rant, and was given a point penalty. Luckily he stopped digging there. Next penalty would have been the match, which would have denied Murray the chance to show just how far he has come in a very short time.

Dithering about

August 24, 2005 / rob

Could football transfers be any more protracted? 
 
At last Michael Owen is going to get a game. <a href=”http://football.guardian.co.uk/News_Story/0,1563,1555312,00.html?gusrc=ticker-103704″>Newcastle, it seems, rate him high enough to break their record</a>, but no other clubs came knocking. Why? 
 
I think Owen is the unluckiest player around. He doesn’t get in tabloid messes, trains hard, doesn’t get pissed. And I don’t buy the theory that he only suits one style of play, the counter-attack. He’s Englands chief striker for the last 6 years or so. It’s weird. 
 
The other transfer that was yawnsville was Chelsea-Eissen. Why can’t clubs and players just make up their minds?

Not everyone is a cricket fan (but they should be)

August 16, 2005 / rob

Although you might be forgiven for thinking otherwise, given the pandemonium in my office during the <a href=”http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/england/4152448.stm”>Old Trafford test</a>. 
 
But really. There are lots of people who don’t care. As far as I can tell, there are three types: 
 
Don’t like cricket. Unfathomable, I know, but there are those who actually find it BORING. I am shocked, but there you go. Cricket is fascinating, unpredictable and requires concentration (no!); it can be attritional, dynamic, brutal and unflinching; it’s a sport for thinking about. Which is probably why some people don’t like it. Footie is much easier – look, goal! You only have to count to a maximum of 5, usually. 90 minutes is your lot. None of the fluctuations and of a five-day game. 
 
Don’t get cricket. Fair enough. It’s complex. If you haven’t been brought up with it, or exposed to it’s intricacies before, it’s hard to convey just how exciting this Ashes has been. If you fall into this category, just smile at whoever is banging on about it and try to learn. It’s worth it. Really. 
 
Don’t like sport in general. You are hopeless. Forget it. In fact, why are you even reading this? 
 
For those who claim cricket to be something of a niche sport, consider this: the global audience and players of cricket is vast – at least 1bn, given the participation of India and Pakistan. The players are perhaps not as well known as Pele and Muhammad Ali, but you would be hard pushed to find anyone anywhere who has never heard of Botham, Lara or Warne. 
 
Actually, a very good summary was written in the <a href=”http://www.economist.com/displaystory.cfm?story_id=S%26%29%28%24%2BQA%2F%21%0A”>Economist</a>. Bear in mind that this was written in 1999, before test cricket moved up a level in excitement and intensity. They were assessing the best sport for all sizes, for all ages, and for skill levels: 
 
“All of which leaves only one sport… still testing the athlete to the limits of both physique and personality. The game is cricket, played to the highest level by all shapes and sizes… So we will choose cricket as our paramount sport. Our only regret is that when America won its war of independence, it foolishly discarded its right to play a sport of such skill and temperament. Baseball is indeed a great sport, but by comparison with cricket it is, well, simple stuff.”

Getting too carried away?

August 8, 2005 / rob

Rather than adding to the glut of “Best test of all Time EVER!” comments, I think we should have a few words of caution. 
 
This was NOT the best test of all time. Best Ashes test, possibly. But there have been equally exciting and more dramatic tests, they just aren’t as fresh in our minds, and feature other countries. I agree that it was remarkable stuff. I can’t think of a more gripping, intense sport with so many twists than test cricket at it’s best – and Edgbaston was cricket certainly that. However… 
 
England have some serious issues to sort out. Yes, Freddie might be on fire. I am a huge fan, and think that he is clearly the best all-rounder in world cricket by a mile. But here are the more worrying aspects to the team, in no particular order: 
 
– Aside from Flintoff, we are not bowling that brilliantly. Harmison has yet to put together a really devastating spell or consistently hostile, and Hoggard is not at his best. Simon Jones is doing pretty well, but is a better old-ball bowler. Giles is doing OK, but will be attacked at all turns. 
 
– England are still in the Ashes because Australia have batted hopelessly (compared to their usual standards). So far in the series, their top seven are averaging around 30-ish, which for some (Ponting and Gilchrist) is 20 less than their career averages. Hayden has scored just 77 at 19.25. His career average is 52. This can’t go on for a five test series. So far, only Clarke is above his career average. 
 
– Trescothick, Flintoff and Pietersen aside, England are batting below par too. Vaughan has made just 32 runs, and Bell not much more. These two need to get some runs, and in the next test. 
 
– Two tests in, and no player from either side has made a century. This can’t last. England need to get a player to 100 first, otherwise the Aussie floodgates might open. 
 
– McGrath might be out, but talk of Warne being tired is rubbish. He has bowled 75.3 overs in the series so far. Flintoff has bowled just 3 balls less, and isn’t a spinner, remember. Harmison and Lee have both bowled over 60. If Warne is tired, it isn’t from bowling. 
 
I still think it’ll go to the last test, though. And by that time, maybe even some of the “cricket is boring” brigade will be converted.

Usual sporting insensitivity

August 5, 2005 / rob

After Glen McGrath’s untimely injury just before the Edgbaston test, in this morning’s Metro was a little “fun” box titled “You’ve done what? Unusual sporting injuries”. 
 
Among the collection were amusing moments such as: “Derek Pringle… injured his back while writing a letter” and “Alex Stepney… dislocated his jaw shouting at his defenders in 1975”. 
 
And then there was this: 
 
“Mistar: Indonesian footballer killed by a stampede of pigs which overran the training pitch in 1995.” 
 
I’m sorry, but that isn’t unusual, it’s just awful. He wasn’t injured – he died. And rather nastily, I would imagine. Why are Metro such a bunch of arses? 
 
Note: Mcgrath’s injury isn’t that unusual. He just trod on a ball.

Safe hands

July 29, 2005 / rob

There isn’t that much that I feel bothered about at the moment, aside from the usual <a href=”http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/n/newcastle_united/4726855.stm”>Lee Bowyer nonsense</a> (he feels betrayed that Newcastle were looking to sell him, despite bringing the club into disrepute at least twice in his short career with them. Tosser.) 
 
But instead, I was interested to see that the Guardian were promoting a <a href=”http://sport.guardian.co.uk/smalltalk/story/0,13852,1538145,00.html”>David Seaman interview</a> on the sports section. What has old “safe hands” got to say? 
 
Nothing. It’s the most boring interview I have read in a long, long time. 
 
Example question: “Do you know how much a pint of milk costs? 
No. I do my shopping at Waitrose and they have a barcode machine where you just pay it off.” 
 
Why do they bother?