If you have been as unlucky as I have to be stuck in a hotel with only CNN for company, you will probably know <a href=http://www.cnn.com/CNN/anchors_reporters/quest.richard.html target=”_new”>Richard Quest</a>. He is the presenter with a voice that sounds like he is gargling vomit, and looks like a bullied child. <br /><br />Being hopelessly unsuited to broadcast journalism has not held Quest back, and he is now on some CNN election-special roadtrip around the US which has been dubbed “American Quest”. How fortunate that he has such a perfect name. I am reminded of the helicopter-bound weather reporter in the Simpsons, Arnie Pie with “Arnie in the Sky”. <br /><br />Anyway, back to Richard. Why am I having a go at him? Because, sad to report, his musings on the American political landscape have found their way into Metro, thereby ruining my tube journey for two reasons. One, he looks far too pleased with himself. Two, his reports are a joke. I thought that the full version on the <a href=http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2004/american.quest/index.html target=_new>CNN site</a> would have some more perceptive comments, but no. Here is an extract:<br /><br />”Asking most Americans what they want from a president pretty much elicits the same formula wherever you are: A strong economy. A strong homeland. And someone who is at the helm. Simple, really.” Yup, case closed. We can all go home now.<br /><br />Or this gem about voters: “those deeply committed to one side or the other are unlikely to suddenly change sides”. Such insight.<br /><br />Or perhaps this: “it is worth remembering what these politicians are fighting for. They are vying to be president of the United States, and thereby the leader of the free world.” Straight to the heart of the matter.<br /><br />Meanwhile, in his gentle way, Quest goes fishing, pops in on small towns and chats to “the people”. He even had time to file two (Two!) reports from Vegas, one all about his huge buffet meal and ensuing guilty conscience. And this week it’s the turn of his cameraman to add to the swill of pointlessness while Richard presumably takes a break from all the hard work.<br /><br />Roll on November.
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