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Reasons to be down: Athletics doping, Beijing 2022. Reasons to be cheerful: The Ashes, not much else. Reasons to laugh: Norwegian golf course dirty protests. Sport Geek’s take on the week is below. Please feel free to share and spread the word.

Beijing will be the first city to host the summer and winter Olympics. That in itself should have been a big enough clue: there’s no snow. Of course, that isn’t the real problem: it’s the cost, not the climate. Plus human rights, of course. Although China’s pretty happy.

So the IOC will simplify the bidding process to prevent all these pull-outs in future. But while they are at it, why not scrap the hosting concept all together? Or just hand it to LA every time?

Meanwhile, don’t go into the Rio waters. And don’t start humming ‘Let it go‘ in China.

Is this the strangest Ashes ever? Perhaps: the numbers suggest that it’s a contest between two very jittery teams. The momentum, if any side has had it, has been more like a ping pong ball than a boulder.

Player watch: Steven Finn‘s path back to glory; Stuart Broad is wonderfully annoying; Michael Clark‘s career is over?

It may make for great entertainment – but short Tests can be a financial disaster.

Tactics watch: It’s all about selecting players. Those players must learn how to leave the ball again. Is it all about batting first? And Kevin Pietersen suggests attack attack attack. Surprise.

It is utterly depressing, but not surprising, that so many athletes have suspicious blood readings. The scandal is that so little is being done. At least Bolt and Farah emerge clean. Apparently, it’s easy to spot the cheats.

The dirtiest race ever (1988 Seoul 100m final) now has some competition.

A reminder of the drugs effect: Sprinters don’t improve after 30, unless your name is Justin Gatlin.

Running the Great Wall of China Marathon sounds very tough.

Breakthrough! Proof of the ‘hot hand’ theory. Annoyingly small effect, though.

Sir Peter O’Sullevan was brilliant broadcaster. Compare and contrast the clowns on Sky.

The brilliant Inbee Park wins the Women’s Open. Pity that Trump fellow is still making waves.

Remember this name: Ollie Schniederjans. Got it?

Someone has been shitting in the cup holes of a Norwegian golf club for TEN YEARS!

Nadal watch: a win is a win, however ugly.

Another week, another load of slam talk.

Should tennis be speeded up?

Manager watch: Rude Mourinho (but right); Championship sackings; the rise and fall of Mexico’s Miguel Herrera.

The frustrating Mr Wilshire.

Aberdeen fans rack up the air miles.

How will Manchester United fare this season?

Why did the FA back Michel Platini before he’d even put forward his manifesto? Prince Ali isn’t happy. Nor is Chung Moon-Joon. Never forget: Platini voted for Qatar.

The redemption of A-Rod.

Sport Geek is taking a break – back in September.